Soul Eater Book One
by Austin Garvie
Summary: Welcom to Death Weapon Meistor Academy more commonly known as the DWMA. This book is writen like a play.


**R** **esonance of the Soul – Will Soul Eater Become a Death Scythe?**

Maka:

A sound soul dwells within a sound mind and a sound body.

Narration (Male):

Welcome to Death Weapon Meister Academy. More commonly known as the DWMA. It stands as a defense against the forces of evil, which would plunge the world into chaos and drag humanity to the very depths of fear and madness.

The demons known as Kishin and their insatiable hunger for destruction.

To ensure the Kishin never regain their hold on this world, this academy was founded by the Grim Reaper, Death himself.

Lord Death:

So basically, we're an organization that exists to protect and preserve peace. I guess it's not exactly a typical school. Oh well, that isn't important. For now, let's roll up our sleeves and get to work!

\- opening theme -

Jack the Ripper:

Want more power. More power... Power.

Maka:

That man, Soul Eater, his soul...

Soul:

Yeah Maka, there's no doubt about it. That dude's soul is a kishin egg. It's pure evil. He's not human anymore.

Maka:

Any soul that breaks from the path of humanity and becomes evil runs the risk of transforming into a kishin. In the name of Lord Death, this evil must be purged. Let's collect the damaged soul and end this.

Soul:

Just so we're clear, Maka. This guy's turning himself into a weapon. He's the same as me that way. 'Course, I look a lot cooler in my human form than he does. But being a weapon isn't what the problem is here. The problem with this guy is his soul.

Maka:

I know. You, serial killer, Jack the Ripper. Your murdering days are done. Your soul is mine! Weapon and meister, two fighting as one. Let's go, Soul Eater.

Maka:

It's ours now. Ninety-ninth soul!

Soul:

Hu. Maka, thank you for a good meal.

Maka:

We're almost there, aren't we? Took us long enough, but that was number ninety nine, so we finally collected all the Kishin souls we need.

Soul:

Only one thing left now. I've just gotta eat a soul of a witch. Then I'll be one of Lord Death's weapons. You're looking at the next Death Scythe. I know, as if I wasn't cool enough already, right?

Maka:

Anyway, we'd better report back to Lord Death and let him know. Just write in the Death room's number, 4242564, whenever you want to knock on Death's door. Hello, Lord Death. Are you there? Meister Maka reporting.

Lord Death:

Yeah, yeah. Hello, Meister Maka. How are you doing? How did it go?

Maka:

I've just collected the ninety-ninth kishin's soul, sir. Now we just have one witch soul left to collect and we'll be done.

Lord Death:

Well done, Maka. You're proving to be just as excellent a meister your mother was.

Spirit:

Hey, Soul Eater! If you even think of touching my Maka, if you lay a hand on her, as a Death Scythe, no, as her father I will freaking kill you!

You got me, you little octopus head?

Soul:

What are you smoking? See how cool I am?

You think I'm gonna settle for a flat-chested girl like her?

Spirit:

What did you just say?!

Are you trying to tell me that my Maka is not attractive?!

Why haven't you made a move on her? You're a man, aren't you?!

Soul:

You know, you're a little annoying.

Spirit:

Maka, your dad loves you.

Maka:

Don't waste your breath on me. There's no way I'll ever consider you my father.

Lord Death:

Enough of that. Let's set the family feud aside for a moment.

As you know, if a meister and weapon pair collect ninty-nine evil souls, souls that have strayed and become Kishin Eggs, and additionally collect a soul of one witch, then the weapon will obtain the qualifications necessary to become a death scythe, one of my instruments.

But it's that last soul that's a bit tricky.

You've made it this far, but you should know there are countless meisters who have lost their lives when they challenged a witch.

You need to be very careful, Maka. But if you're lucky, maybe the death scythe you create will be as powerful as the one your mom created before you.

Maka:

Right.

Lord Death:

Also, please do be sure not to make any mistakes.

This last collection, the witch's soul, is very important.

If you slip up, all of the ninty-nine Kishin souls that two of you have collected so far will be confiscated.

Maka:

We understand, sir.

Soul:

Yeah, we'll make a clean job of it. No worries.

Lord Death:

In that case I'll see you two later.

Spirit:

Maka...

Lord Death:

You are a bit annoying.

Spirit:

Maka!

Lord Death:

If you don't shut up, I'm going to use my reaper chop to split your head open.

Spirit:

It's more effective if you warn before you chop.

Maka:

Resonance of the soul. Will soul eater become a death scythe?

Blair:

Pum-pum-pumpum. I always get what I want. Just give it to me.

Pum-pum-pumpum. I'm a beauti-beauti-ful pretty lady.

Come give my back a scrub.

But, you know, you know. I've got a secret. Yes I do. Pumpkins.

Pum-pum-pumpkins. Pum-pum-pumpkins. 'cause that's my magic spell.

Pum-pum-pumpkins. Pum-pum-pumpkins. Yeah.

Maka:

This must be the house where the witch Blair lives.

Soul:

A pumpkin house? That's cool.

It looks tasty. But sneaking into a house isn't very manly.

Why don't we just charge right in there?

Maka:

We can't. She's different from the others we've faced so far.

Soul:

Let's go.

Maka:

Hey! Come back here!

Soul:

Naked lady?!

Blair:

Hey, what's the matter? Is everything okay down there in the bubbles, little boy?

Soul:

It's okay, cool guys see naked women all the time. I'm totally used to it.

Blair:

Of course you are, dear. I'm sure that's why your nose is bleeding.

Soul:

Yeah. Never mind. Your soul is mine.

Maka:

You idiot! What were you thinking?!

Sorry to interrupt. But I'll be taking your soul now.

Blair:

I hope that cute boy would be all right.

Maka:

Could you transform into a scythe?

Soul:

Working on it, Maka.

Okay. That's it, witch lady. Naked or not I'm still gonna eat your soul now.

Blair:

Witch lady? Oh, wow. He really became a scythe!

Maka:

After I take your soul he'll be much more. Soul will be a death scythe, and I'll have created a weapon stronger than my dad.

Blair:

I like it. Why don't you be a good little girl and give it to me?

Pumpkin-Pumpkin-Pumpkin, Holloween Cannon!

Girl 1:

Wow, death scythe. You're a real frisky one, aren't you?

Girl 2:

Oh, and I heard that you have a little daughter too. Isn't that right?

What sort of girl is she?

Girl 1:

You don't wanna ask that. Trust me on this one.

Girl 2:

Okay. But, why?

Girl 1:

Just in case you haven't figured it out yet, death scythe is a bit of a player, and that didn't go over very well with his wife.

They're in the process of getting a divorce right now.

The worst thing is his daughter Maka is on her mother's side. She hates him.

Girl 2:

That sounds complicated.

Spirit:

Maka! Please don't hate me, Maka! I love you and your mama! I promise, Maka!

It's true. It's true. I love you. I love you!

Man:

Thank you very much, sir.

Girls:

Bye, Mr. Death scythe. Please come again.

Spirit:

Yeah... Bye.

Soul:

Damn that witch. How am I supposed to be cool when she's all hot and naked like that, huh?

Maka:

You expected a stiff attack. She is a witch but you lost your chance to become a death scythe because you couldn't resist her.

Soul:

You're just jealous of her boobs.

It's her. What now...?

Maka:

I'm thinking...

Blair:

Oh! My little scythy boy!

Maka:

Listen up, Soul. This time I wrote down a detailed plan on this piece of paper.

Soul:

And that's supposed to give us an edge this time? We aren't exactly going grocery shopping here.

A piece of paper isn't gonna help us beat a witch.

Maka:

Fine! Then you tell me what we need to do to beat Blair!

Soul:

Who knows? I vote for brute force though.

Maka:

That's your an answer for everything! You have to work together here!

Don't you wanna become a death scythe?

Soul:

Yeah, get it, Maka. You can shut up now.

Maka:

You have to take this seriously, Soul. It's the witch we're going up against. Let's just follow my...

Blair:

Pumpkin? Pum-pumpkin? Halloween Cannon!

Blair:

You should give it up. You can't beat me, girl.

Soul:

What are you doing, you idiot!

Maka:

Shut up. Or were you just gonna try beating her by getting a nose bleed again?

Men are completely useless sometimes.

You only ran into Blair's house in the first place because you knew she was taking a bath.

Soul:

Now you're just making false accusations. And will you tell me how girls always come up with these wild assumptions in the first place?

Maka:

Women's intuition.

Soul:

I don't understand you sometimes.

Blair:

Hey there, little scythe boy. Is that dumb girl of yours giving you a hard time? Why don't you forget about her and come be mine?

I would never ever yell at you like she is no matter what you did to me.

Maka:

Hold on, witch. I'm Soul's partner, not you, okay? Our conversations don't concern you.

Blair:

Hm... Is that so? Well, we'll see about that, girlie.

Maka:

What the...?

Blair:

Pum-pumpkin pumpkin smacking pumpkin!

Maka:

What should we try now, Soul? My attacks won't work on her.

Soul? Soul, hello? What's wrong?

Blair:

Why don't you forget about her and come be mine?

Spirit:

Good times at chupacabras.

Lord Death:

You're up drinking when daughter is in trouble? What kind of father are you?

Spirit:

What? Maka? Something happened?

Lord Death:

She's not doing so well against this witch. It looks like she might die.

Spirit:

What? Maka, hold on.

Lord Death:

Stop right there. Think about what you're doing. You or I could win against an opponent like that with one blow. A single reaper chop is all what it'd take to crush her skull. We both know that, Death Scythe. But our skills aren't being tested right now. You're her father. You must understand the situation.

Spirit:

Maka...

Lord Death:

Still, there's something a little weird about that witch.

Maka:

Soul, what's going on? I don't understand why you haven't been answering me.

Soul:

Maka.

Maka:

There you are.

Soul:

Stop talking.

Maka:

Hey, what did you drop me like that for?!

Soul:

I don't think we should be partners anymore, Maka. You see, I only want to be witch Blair's weapon now!

Blair:

Oh, do you really want me?

Spirit:

Yeah, that's more like it. Leave my daughter alone, you little scumbag.

Lord Death:

Is now really the time to be saying that?

Maka:

Blair! You used your magic to make Soul wanna be with you. That's a dirty trick.

Soul:

You really are stupid. Any man would choose a girl with a body like Blair's over you and your flat chest. She didn't have to trick me to make me pick her instead of you.

Spirit:

Now that you mentioned it that witch does have a really nice body, doesn't she?

Lord Death:

It would be best if you just shut up for a while.

Maka:

You men... All of you, you're horrible. Cheating on every woman. But you... you I actually decided to trust... I put my faith in you... I can't believe this... I wish that all of you would just die! Hey, Soul. You said that all women make wild assumptions without reasoning first, right? That's what you said? For what reason do men have for cheating? It's not fair!

Soul:

How am supposed to know? I can't answer that. After all, cool men don't cheat on their partners, do they? Maka!

We've got them all. Good job.

Maka:

 _Yes, Soul. Thank you for that._

Soul:

In the end, the shape and form don't matter at all. It's only the soul that matters, right? Nothing else.

Maka:

Once you eat that...

Soul:

That's right. With this soul I'll become a death scythe.

The power! I can feel incredible power! Or not.

Maka:

No way.

Don't tell me... you're not really...

Blair:

I never said that I was a witch, did I? You just made that assumption all on your own. I'm really just a cat with a ridiculous amount of magical power. The shape and form don't matter. Isn't that right? Huh, Soul?

Lord Death:

Yes, just as I suspected.

Spirit:

The cat'll do. Yes, Blair. I'll be your cat toy any day...

Soul:

You've gotta be kidding me! Does this mean I ate ninty-nine human souls and one cat soul? That just cannot be right!

Maka:

And that's not all...

Lord Death:

The witch's soul is very important. If you slip up, all of the ninty-nine Kishin souls that two of you have collected so far will be confiscated. All of them will be confiscated. All confiscated.

Maka:

So that means... we failed.

Soul:

Damn it, damn it, damn it!

Maka:

We have to start all over. As the meister I'll take responsibility, okay?

Soul:

Oh man, and I was this close to being the coolest guy in the academy!

Maka:

He just ate your soul, you damn cat. What are you still doing up there?

Blair:

You aren't very smart, are you, little girlie. Don't you know that all cats have nine souls? So Soul, when are you gonna leave this dumb girl for me, anyway?

Maka:

Blair, go away! Stop following us, will you?

Blair:

Come on, Soul. You know you want to.

Soul:

This situation isn't cool at all.


End file.
